Love Your Wife Like Christ Loved the Church: A Path to Godly Marriage

Marriage is a sacred covenant, designed by God to reflect the love between Christ and His church. Yet in our fallen world, this divine institution often falls short of its intended glory. How can we, as husbands, love our wives in a way that honors God and nurtures our relationships? The answer lies in following the example of Jesus Himself.

The Foundation: Submission to God's Design

To truly love our wives, we must first submit ourselves to God's leadership. Life doesn't work without submission, and this principle extends to every aspect of our lives, including marriage. When we align ourselves with God's will, we position ourselves to love our wives as He intended.

Biblical headship doesn't mean domination or superiority. Instead, it calls us to sacrificial service, mirroring how Christ loved the church. As husbands, we're called to nourish and cherish our wives, putting their needs above our own. This may require dying to our selfish desires, but it's through this selflessness that our marriages can truly flourish.

The Power of the Holy Spirit

Loving our wives like Christ loved the church is an impossible task in our own strength. We need the power of the Holy Spirit working within us. As the apostle Paul prayed in Ephesians 3:16-17, "That according to the riches of His glory, He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith."

When we invite the Holy Spirit into our lives and marriages, we're not getting more of God – He's getting more of us. We're granting Him unhindered access to every area of our lives, including our relationships with our wives.

Valuing Your Wife as a Helper

Genesis describes the wife as a "helper" to her husband. Far from being a demeaning term, this word carries profound significance. In the original Hebrew, it's "ezer," which means "military reinforcement." Just as no soldier in their right mind would reject military reinforcement, we shouldn't reject the invaluable support and insight our wives bring to our lives and marriages.

Our wives are personal consultants, gifted by God to help us accomplish more than we ever could on our own. By recognizing and honoring this truth, we open ourselves to the full potential of our marriages.

6 Practical Ways to Love Your Wife

  1. Be a student of her: Learn what she thinks about, what she loves, what she dreams of accomplishing. Help her achieve her dreams.
  2. Understand her love language: Whether it's acts of service, words of affirmation, or quality time, discover how she best receives love and invest in those areas.
  3. Guard your eyes and heart: Be faithful in every area, including your thought life. When temptation arises, practice "spiritual breathing" – exhale through confession and inhale by focusing on God's truth and beauty.
  4. Communicate openly: Share your struggles and invite her into your inner world. This vulnerability builds trust and intimacy.
  5. Pray together: There's profound power in joining together in prayer. It invites God's presence into your relationship and aligns your hearts with His will.
  6. Continue pursuing her: Don't let the romance die after marriage. Keep dating your wife, building friendship through meaningful conversations that go beyond daily logistics.

The Eight-Cow Wife

An old story from the South Pacific islands illustrates the transformative power of valuing your wife. On an island where a bride's worth was measured in cows, with even the most desirable women fetching no more than four cows, a man named Johnny Lingo shocked everyone by offering eight cows for Sarita, a woman considered plain and of little value.

When asked why he would pay such an extravagant price, Johnny simply replied, "I wanted an eight-cow wife." His belief in Sarita's worth and his treatment of her as precious transformed her into a confident, radiant woman that matched his vision.

How many "cows" does your wife feel she's worth? Do your words, actions, and attitudes communicate that she's the most valuable person in your life?

Becoming Less So Christ Can Become More

Loving our wives like Christ loved the church requires us to decrease so that Christ can increase in our lives and marriages. It's a daily choice to submit our will to God's, to serve sacrificially, and to value our wives as the precious gifts they are.

This journey isn't easy, and we'll often fall short. But when we stumble, we have the assurance of God's grace and the power of His Spirit to help us get back up and try again.

As you reflect on these truths, consider:

  1. In what areas do you need to "become less" so that Christ can become more in your marriage?
  2. How can you better demonstrate to your wife that she's an "eight-cow woman" in your eyes?
  3. What practical steps can you take this week to love your wife more like Christ loved the church?

A Call to Action

Remember, a godly marriage isn't about being a perfect man, but about following the perfect Man – Jesus Christ. As we fix our eyes on Him and allow His love to flow through us, our marriages can become powerful testimonies of God's transformative grace.

May we all strive to love our wives in a way that makes heaven proud, building God-centered families that shine as beacons of hope in a broken world. For in doing so, we not only bless our own households but also paint a vivid picture of Christ's love for His church to all who witness our marriages.

No Comments